


Night of the Justice League

by desolationofzara



Series: Batfam movie nights [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Super Sons (Comics), Superman - All Media Types, Wonder Woman - All Media Types
Genre: Family Bonding, Multi, bet you thought you'd never see part 2, surprise bitch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-31 05:28:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13968333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/desolationofzara/pseuds/desolationofzara
Summary: Bruce gets tricked into another one of Jason's movie nights. He prays that Alfred didn't put the lock on the medicine cabinet. He's feeling a hell of a headache coming on.Part 2 to my Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Shenanigans fic





	Night of the Justice League

**Author's Note:**

> THIS WORK IS UNBETA'D. WE DIE LIKE MEN.

Alarms went off in the Batcave calling everyone in the vicinity to the batcomputer. Jason’s face popped up on the screen, Red Hood mask cracked and broken on one side.

“Report Jason! What’s going on?! Where are you?!” Bruce damn near yelled up at the screen, his heart thumping wildly against his chest. 

“Bruce! It’s a code 10! I need your help! The Outlaws need your help!”

“What do you need?! What’s going on?! Are you alright!?”

“I’m okay Bruce, I promise! But there’s this alien attack going down in an alternate reality! They’re going to come here if Artemis, Bizarro and I don’t hold them back! Can you get the others and Superman too?!” Jason pleaded, hazel eyes impossibly wide, as if he were frightened. 

“Of course Jason, stay safe until we get there.”

“Tell me when you’re gathered at the Manor, ill meet you there with my team to talk about the plan of attack.”

Bruce gave a curt nod of his head and ran to call the others.

* * *

 

Batman gathered everyone from his family, Clark’s family, and even insisted for Diana to come. They all gathered at the batcave. 

“Thank you for coming on short notice, Jason should be in the manor, we should hurry.” Batman instructed practically bounding up the stairs, leaving everyone to follow in his wake. 

Bruce found Jason lounging on the couch in a pair of gray sweatpants and a red shirt with his feet on the coffee table in the media room. 

“Jay- What?” Bruce blinked. 

_ Was he hallucinating? What’s going on? _

“B!” Jay called his face lighting up, “Oh look you brought everyone else too!”

“Jason! What is- where is the threat?! What’s going on?!”

“Oh it’s fine. Everything’s okay. False alarm. Go change into your PJs, didn’t mean to give you a heart attack old man.”

“There  _ was _ no emergency, was there?” Bruce snarled, as his second eldest pushed him to his bedroom.

“Nahhhh, there totally was! Right Dick!?”

“Yeah! Huge explosions, aliens everywhere. It was crazy.” Dick grinned, in matching attire, except his was a light blue shirt. 

“See! Everything is taken care of. Now go change. Its movie night and my turn to pick.”

“But the ci-”

“Roy, Babs, and Wally are all covering the city. They wanna call it Ginger power or something like that.”

“Colin is also joining in, I believe they are calling it Fire Fest?” Damian added, laying out fluffy comforters on the floor, also making a quick change into gray sweatpants and a green shirt. 

Tim came out of the kitchen with boxes of soda and arranged them on the coffee table, “Go on Bruce. We all needed a break.”

Bruce begrudgingly went to his room to change out of the batsuit and have a movie night with his family, and the Kents. 

Bruce came out of his room and silently watched as everyone took their places. Jon and Damian cuddling on the floor, Alfred reclining on the massive Laz-E-Boy, Stephanie, Kara and Cass lounging to the far right of the massive sofa, Selina, then a space, then Dick under his favorite superman blanket that he’s had since hes came to the manor. Bizzaro and Jason talking excitedly, Tim and Kon cuddling behind Damian and Jon, then Clark, Lois and Diana, who was using the other two as her own pillows. 

“Damian, Jonathan, hand check.”  Bruce barked taking his seat next to Dick. Jons eyes went wide as his hands shot up from the covers that were around his shoulders. Bruce knew it was awful, but he loved the fact that the kid was terrified of him. Damian turned beet red and clicked his tongue against his teeth. 

Dick elbowed him harshly as Jason turned to put the DVD in the player.

“From the client that gave us the excellent, critically acclaimed, Batman vs Superman! I give you, The Justice League!” Jason bowed as the kids clapped for him.

Bruce gave Dick a look. 

“I didn’t tell him anything!” Dick defended.

“In Batman vs Superman, why is Batman’s name first?” Came Jon’s voice from the floor.

“Im older.” Bruce was quick to say, a wide grin spread across his face. 

“Im taller.” Clark laughed from the other end of the couch.

“Shut up!” the two youngest groaned as they hid their blushes in their hands.

Everyone becomes settled and the movie starts with Superman being recorded with children on the other side of the camera.

“God I missed you, sexy Superman.” Kon sighed wistfully as Clark rolled his eyes. 

“Me too!” Lois chirped and Clark looked down at her, eyes wide, mouth hung open, clutching his chest in betrayal. 

“Have you ever fought a hippopotamus?” one of the children asks as the Superman on the screen made a face between a laugh and confusion.

“Have you?” Kara turned back to look at her cousin, mischief gleaming in her eyes.

“Sure he has!” Jon answered, a wicked smirk spreading across his face, “he’s fought Kon over the last piece of bacon loads of times!” 

Kon gasped loudly as Tim choked on his popcorn. The whole room makes an ‘ooo’.

Clark made a movement like he was stretching and reached his arm out to his youngest sitting on the floor with his palm up. Jon smacked his dads hand loudly. 

“Whats your favorite thing about Earth?”

Movie Superman smiles and looks into the distance.

 

“Sun powered superpowers.” Kara says.

“All you can eat ice cream.” Jon grins as Damian rolls his eyes, but grins along with him.

“Pup pup!” Bizarro beams.

“Lois Lane.” Lois says with an air of finality.

Clark grinned and pressed a kiss to the crown of her head.

 

The movie moves on to a man burglarizing a house, he turns and Batman is crouched on a gargoyle watching him.

“I see you, _bitch_.” Jason mocks as the rest of them laugh along.

Batman hurts the man a bit, while dodging his gunshots. He eventually ties him up and holds him over the roof.

“What do you want from me?!” The burglar screams.

“Your fear, they can smell it.” Batman said. 

Just then a flying green bug android came flying up.

“Ewwwwwwwww, they look like flying green cockroaches.” Steph scowled, scrunching her nose. “Thank God we don’t have to fight those things.”

“Except cockroaches aren’t human sized, Steph.” Tim snorts.

“Listen here, rich boy. You havent seen the bugs Ive seen. Back me up here Jay.

“Mmmhmm shes right.” Jason replied absentmindedly. 

Batman caught the flying creature and it exploded.

“What the hell.” Movie Alfred deadpanned.

“ALFRED!!” Everyone cried, startling the sleeping man awake. 

“Sorry, Alfred. Go to bed if you’re tired.” Bruce smiled apologetically.

“Nonsense Master Bruce I am fine, I was just resting my eyes.”

“Sure you were.” Bruce grinned as he turned his attention back to the movie. 

“It’s because he’s dead, isnt it? Superman.” The crook asked, jumping over to Batman. Batman didn’t say anything as he jumped off of the roof. 

 

The movie moved onto the various monuments people had for Superman over international points of interest. Lois lane appeared placing flowers at the memorial sight for Superman.

“Man, I still don’t think I look good as a ginger.” 

“You look good in everything.” Clark smiled 

Lois hid a smile behind her hand and nuzzled into her husband.

“So  _ that’s _ where your cheesiness comes from.” Damian whispered to Jon. Jon pressed a quick kiss to the top of Damians head and watched as his movie grandmother moved out of her farmhouse. Damian rested his head on Jon’s shoulder. 

The scene after showed hate and destruction as a woman in a headscarf being screamed at by a bald white man, no doubt a xenophobe or white supremacist. Jon could feel Damian’s whole body tense. He slipped his hand into Damians fist.

“We wouldn’t let that happen. No one in this room would.” Jon soothed to Damian, his voice barely above a whisper. It seemed to be the right words to say because the elder boys breathing began to deepen, his muscles unclenched themselves. 

The movie showed what seemed to be an English mobster shooting up a bank with small children as hostages. The camera cut to Diana standing on top of a Lady Justice statue, as her electric guitar theme played in the background. 

All the kids began screaming and shaking each other. Kon and Tim practically chanting “DI-AN-A, DI-AN-A!”

Diana gave a small laugh and blushed furiously. 

“Are they always like this?” Selina whispered to Bruce, grinning. 

Bruce sighed. 

“Ill take that as a yes.”

“Four city blocks,  _ poof _ , as the world watches.” The terrorist mocked her.

“LOOK AT HER HEAD TILT! LOOK AT IT! SHES LIKE, ‘Excuse me, do you  _ know _ who I am?’” Kara giggled. 

Wonder Woman flew into the room full of hostages as she took them all out and disposed of the bomb with super human speed. 

“Question. How do you keep your curls so perfect while you’re fighting?” Lois asked.

Diana laughed, “Amazonian hair spray, ill give you a sample later.” 

Movie Diana blocked every single bullet the machine gun fired and she stood up slowly.

“GUESS WHO FUCKED UP? YOU  _ BITCH _ .” Jason squealed.

 

The movie changed to a small village by the sea, surrounded by snowy mountains. Bruce Wayne was talking to the villagers about a man that comes in by the king tide. 

“Look, I’ll give you 25,000 to speak to this man right now, outside.” Movie Bruce said. 

“Oh, you know,  _ pocket change _ .” Dick giggled. 

“Mocks the kid with  _ two _ trust funds.” Steph shot back as Jason and Cass high fived her. 

“Im sure he would give it to me anyways.” Movie Auqaman mocks as the tavern laughs. Movie Bruce looks around sheepishly and gives a small smile. 

“What happened to knowing every single dialect in the world? Even other worlds?” Damian scoffed.

“Your memory fades as you get older, Damian.” Tim stated matter of factly. Bruce didn’t know whether to be flattered by at least one of his childrens coming to his aid, or the ribbing at his age. Damian and Tim shared a wicked grin and Bruce rolled his eyes. 

Movie Aquaman loomed over Bruce and snarled, “You should get out.”

“Can you atleast point me to Antlantis?” Bruce smirked. 

Clark and Diana both tutted disapprovingly as Arthur slammed him against the wall. 

“Always the smartass.” Jason sighed. 

“You’re the one to talk.” Dick grins back

“Arthur Curry,” Bruce smiled as he was lowered to the ground, “I hear you can talk to fish.”

Every single child in the room groaned loudly. Bruce sat with a smug look on his face as Clarks laughs echoed in the Manor. Clark extended his arm and Bruce slapped the palm of Clarks hand as loud as he could, to amplify the kids embarrassment of course.

“Why, of  _ all things, _ Dad Jokes descends time and realms.” Kon moaned. The movie continues as Bruce and Arthur talk outside.

“So you do it dressed as a bat.” Arthur snorted

“It’s worked for twenty years in Gotham.” Bruce sighed.

“Gotham, oh that shit hole.”

Every Gothamite in the room gasped as they held a hand to their chest. The supers casted sly smirks to one another.

“I mean, he’s not wrong, but only we’re allowed to say that about our city!” Tim said, outraged. 

“Strong men is strongest alone, ever heard of that saying?” Aquaman said as he stripped and plunged into freezing cold water. 

“Why does aquaman sound like an emo teen?” Dick laughed

“That’s not the saying, that’s the opposite of what the saying is.” Movie Bruce replied.

“Oh that’s  _ rich _ coming from Mr. I-work-alone-I-am-the-night.” Diana scoffed.

“But I  _ am _ the night.” Bruce pouted. 

“Ever hear of Superman? He died fighting next to me.” Movie Bruce told Arthur. 

“ _ FOUGHT TOGETHER?! _ For what,  _ five minutes _ ?! Not to mention you spent the previous thirty trying to  _ kill him yourself!” _ Tim cried, exasperated.

 

The movie moved onto Bruce on the plane with Alfred, they were speaking of potential teammates to unite for the Justice League. 

“What about Diana?” Movie Bruce asked carefully

“You have her number” Movie Alfred said matter of factly.

“Yeah, but I was just... hoping that you could... do it.” Movie Bruce fidgeted. 

“Oh, perhaps I should fly to Paris with a handwritten note: ‘Would you like to be Bruces Teammate check yes or no?’”

The whole room let out snickers and giggles that lasted for a minute. Alfred hid a smile behind his hand.

“Im only interested in her skill set” Movie Bruce sighed

“Im sure you are” Movie Alfred chortles.

The room loses it.

Stephanie letting out a loud, “DAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMNNNNNNNNNNNN!”

“CAN WE?!” Movie Bruce stutters, pointing back to the screen. 

Barry Allen is introduced to the movie, visiting his father in jail.

“Oh! Um,  _ that’s _ The Flash?” Jon stutters, eyes going wide. 

“Yes, Jon, that’s what the movie just explained two minutes ago.” Damian rolled his eyes, glancing at his boyfriends reddening cheeks. And Damian knew it wasn’t because of embarrassment.

“Oh, that’s, he- just doesn’t look like Uncle Barry is all.” Jon stammered violently. 

Damian let out a hum as jealousy swirled in his chest. 

 

The movie changes, to Damians delight, to the Amazons guarding a box.

“That’s your mom?” Lois asks Diana, who was using her stomach as a pillow, with a smile. 

“Yes, they look very similar actually.” Diana smiled. 

The box cracked open and Stepphenwolf emerged at the same moment. The Amazons began to fight with him and his newly summoned parademons.    
“Seal the gates!” Hippolyta cried as she ran from the villain.

“What happened to their clothes!?” Diana cried in outrage. 

“We wear armor on Themyscira! Not.... that! What would happen if someone would try and hit you with a horizontal slice?! You have nothing but your skin to protect you!” Diana seethed. 

“I love how they’re all just playing a big game of keep away from this dude.” Selina smiled. 

“We must light the ancient warning fire.” Hippolyta sighed as Stephenwolf disappeared. 

“The fire has not been burnt for thousands of years. Men won’t know what it means!”

“Men won’t. She will.”

All the kids in the room let out an “ayyyyyyy” while looking to Diana, who flipped her hair off of her shoulder. 

 

The scene changed to Diana excavating a greek statue. 

“A work of art and a masterpiece.” Lois smiled as she winked at Diana. Diana blushed and laughed along with Lois, dropping her head into the other womans lap.

“Friendship goals.” Cass smiled at Steph. 

“Sure, but you and I are Gal Pals.” Steph winked. 

“Stoooopppp.” Kara laughed.

 

The movie showed Lois and Martha in what seemed to be like the Daily Planet. Damian felt Jons cheeks stretch into a smile on top of his head. 

“Mama’s boy.” Damian teased, nudging his boyfriend. Jon shushed him .

“Clark promised youd win another pulitzer.” Martha smiled, the gleam in her eye as mischievous as the real Ma Kents. 

“Oh did he?” Lois giggled

“Yes he did! He said you were the thirstiest young woman hes ever met!”

Jon shot up like a rocket. 

“HE WHAT?!” Jon, Kon, and Kara cried at the same time. As the others laughed

“Hungriest.” Martha corrected herself.

“I can’t believe you called Mom thirsty!” Jon howled.

“I honestly don’t blame her.” Kon replied. 

“Bizarro, do me a favor and smack Kon with a pillow anytime he says something weird.” Kara grumbled. 

“Bizarro am have to smack Kon everytime Kon open mouth.” Bizarro smirked

Tim and Jon high fived Bizarro as everyone laughed. 

The movie continued to Victor sitting in his room, his suit changing and adapting in ways that he mentioned before. He sees that someone is looking him up, trying to find him. The suit automatically shows him Batman, he runs facial recognition that shows him Bruce Wayne is the Batman. 

“That’s practically what you did, right Tim?” Kon beamed. 

“Yes and no, I just had a picture and I was just The Flying Grayson's biggest fan at the time. Not to mention, I didn’t have any hobbies besides stalking Batman. So his way was way more efficient.” 

“So you just found out who Batman was with your big, beautiful brain, huh?” Kon grinned and kissed the top of Tim's head. Tim giggled and blushed. 

Jon scrunched up his face “Gross.”

“Disgusting” Damian agreed. 

“Jealous.” Tim and Kon mocked.

 

The movie changed to Diana and Bruce walking around the lake of the Wayne house. She began telling the story of Stepphenwolf and the mother boxes. 

“Uh oh, green lanterns.” Clark smirked

“Quick, someone cover Bruce’s eyes!” Diana laughed. 

“I need better friends.” Bruce grumbled. 

“Did you hear that D?!” Clark beamed with fake glee.

“He called us  _ friends!” _ Diana sat up and held her hand next to her heart.

“Get out of my house.” Bruce sulked

“No, please, stay. It’s nice to see Bruce interact with human beings that aren’t his children.” Selina smirked. Bruce looked at her like he’d been stabbed in the back. 

“That whole story sounded like Lord of the Rings.” Jason frowned

“What, are Clark and Bruce gonna have to the top of Mount Doom and drop the last Mother Box in it?” Tim laughed.

“Yeah, but who’s Sam and who’s Frodo?” Dick smirked.

 

The movie moved on and showed Barry walking into his own HQ.

“Barry Allen, Bruce Wayne.”

“You said that like it explains where there's a total stranger, sitting in the dark, in my second favorite chair.”

Jon laughed and Damian watched his cheeks turn pink. Damian scowled and snatched the popcorn bowl from his hands. 

Jon paid no mind as he watched the actor who played Barry ramble on about denying anything that linked himself to the Flash. 

“I do competitive Ice Dancing.”

“Its what they use on the space shuttle to keep it from burning up.” Movie Bruce smirked.

“I do VERY competitive Ice Dancing.” 

Jon laughed hard at that. 

“It wasn’t that funny, Jon.” Damian seethed. 

“And you don’t need to be that jealous, Damian.” Jason grinned. 

Damian hissed curses in arabic, his cheeks turning scarlet. 

“Stop right there! Im in!” Movie Barry beams.

“He sounds like Robin.” Bruce smiled.

“Which one?” Selina smiled behind her hand.

“I...I need... friends.” Movie Barry pouted.

“All of them.” Bruce smirked as his kids started yelling at him.

“What are your superpowers again?” Movie Barry asked

“Im rich.” 

Every super in the room had goofy smiles on their faces.

“What, no snide remark?” Dick smirked.

“With a vault full of kryptonite below our feet? Never.” Clark grinned.

 

The movie moved on to Victor talking to Diana through the screen of the Batcave. 

“Diana Prince. Would you like to play a game?” Cass said through Bruce’s voice modulator

Bruce snatches it out of her hand. 

“Hey!” Cass cried.

“Looks like you have a date Ms. Prince. Bout time SOMEBODY here did.” Movie Alfred said

“Why is Alfred so salty?” Bruce asked

“Father, stop.” came Damian's immediate response. 

The movie continues as Diana meets with Victor. Cyborg flies off in the middle of Diana speaking and the whole room gasps in horror.

“HOW RUDE!”

“UNSPEAKABLE”

"SAY THE WORD AND HIS HEAD WILL BE ON A PIKE!”

“DAMIAN PUT THE SWORD DOWN, WHERE DID YOU EVEN  _ GET _ THAT?!”

Came various screams around the room. 

Diana only laughed. 

“At ease my warriors.” 

The whole room quieted down. Minus Dick and Jason's excited giggling of “she called me her warrior!” 

The next scene was Arthur saving fishermen in the middle of a storm

"Wish i could be, part of your woooorrrllllddd.” Steph sings off key.

“Ariel was always my favorite growing up.” Jason said dreamily as he watched Movie Arthur drink straight from the bottle and swim to Atlantis.

“No she wasn’t.” Bruce scoffed.

“BRUCE, PLEASE!” Jason squeaked 

Arthur and Meera were talking about the threat that happened in Atlantis. 

“God it’s like every bisexuals best nightmare.” Jason moaned

“And Pansexual.” Dick agreed.

“You take the redhead, I get the sexy water king.” Jason smirked, looking at his older brother.

“Deal.” Dick smirked back. 

The two spit in their hands and shook on it. 

“THAT IS  _ DISGUSTING! _ WHY DO YOU TWO KEEP  _ DOING _ THAT!” Bruce yells as he jumps up and gets hand sanitizer for his two oldest sons.

 

The movie changes to the GCPD.

“I love how when they show the GCPD they show some guy getting beat the hell up.” Jason laughs.

“The accuracy of Gotham is stunning.” Steph snorts

“Worlds going crazy Jim, maybe he did too!” a detective yells at Gordon.

"Oh sure, blame me for everything." Bruce sulks.

Gordon meets with the newly formed Justice League at the top of GCPD. 

“Do you really think that-” Movie Gordon started, but then stopped when he saw that only The Flash was behind him, just as bewildered. 

“Oh wow, they really just vanished.... Thats rude...” Barry says before he bolts off

Bruce, Diana and Clark let out a roar of laughter at the accuracy.

 

The team finds the kidnapped scientists getting interrogated by Stepphenwolf. 

Barry takes Bruce to the side as he begins to ramble.

“See, here’s the thing. I’m afraid of bugs, and guns, and obnoxiously tall people.”

“Save one.” Movie Bruce advises. “Save one person. Then you’ll know.”

“Holy  _ shit _ that’s your totally vague Robin advice too!” Steph beamed with her hand over her heart.

The fight soon breaks out between the Justice League and the parademons. Batman hops into his nightcrawler and helps out Diana by shooting down the parademons surrounding her.

“Sorry guys. I didn't bring a sword.” Movie Batman says before firing at the parademons. 

Bruce could  _ hear _ the eyerolls of his kids. 

Stepphenwolf begins to hack at the Nightcrawler.

“Jesus, he is tall”

Jason snickered. 

The rugged Justice League barely escaped the fight, and Stepphenwolf got away. 

“Millions in structural damage, I see you haven't lost your touch. But Its good to see you playing well with others.” Gordon addressed Batman after the aftermath of the battle gone south.

“Dressed like a bat. I dig it.” Aquaman chuckled

“May be temporary” Batman says through grit teeth. 

“How many times do you think about leaving the Justice League?” Damian asked, smirking up at his father. 

“Every damn day.” Bruce smirked back as he opened a beer bottle with his teeth. 

The movie moves on to show a family boarding up their house in the middle of nowhere, getting swarmed by parademons. The little girl gets bug killer from inside her families cabinets.

“She’s with the shits yo!” Steph said as the kids laughed at her comment. Bruce looks at Clark, Clark only shrugs back. The movie moves onto Bruce taking the League back to the batcave as Barry ran around, exploring all of it. 

“Barry!” Movie bruce called out.

“Aww, look at the mother calling after her hyper son.” Tim taunted. 

“No.” Movie Diana’s voice called out, making everyone sit straight. Diana laughed at that.

“At some point you have to learn how to move on.” Movie Diana scolded. 

She and Clark scoffed. Bruce glared at them through his peripherals. 

“Steve Trevor tell you that?” Movie Bruce taunted.

Dick let out a high pitched “Ooooo!”

“Kick his  _ ass  _ girl.” came from Jason.

“Hush, he just wants to resuscitate his dead boyfriend.” Steph smirked as Tim laughed. 

Bruce was about to defend his counterpart until the movie moved on.

“Superman was a beacon. Why aren’t you Diana? You’re an inspiration, but I never heard of you until Luthor stole a picture of your dead boyfriend. You shut yourself down for a _century_ , so lets not talk about _me_ moving on.”

“Did... did they  _ really _ just compare Clark to Diana’s Steve?” Bruce found himself saying instead.

“You gotta admit, that’s pretty gay.” Cass nodded sagely. 

“We’re just good friends!” Clark tried to defend.

“Mmhmm, so are me and Damian.” Jon smirked up at his father, as Damian draped himself over Jon in a dramatic way. 

“You know if she kills you we’ll cover for her.” Barry said

“God, he  _ is  _ a Robin.” Bruce mumbled.

“It doesn't matter how strong you are! Or the abilities you have-!” Movie Alfred tried to argue with Bruce. 

“He’s more human than I am.” Bruce cut him off. He smiled sadly when Alfred had nothing more to say.

“He lived in the world, fell in love, got a job. Despite all that power. The world needs Superman. The team needs Clark.”

“There is LITERALLY no heterosexual explanation for this!” Kara cried.

“And what does superman need?” Movie Alfred asked.

“I bet Bruce is like ME!!” Lois laughed

“SEE EVEN LOIS SHIPS IT!” Kon cried.

“What if hes at peace?” Movie Alfred tried to sway Bruce. 

“He’ll get over it.” Bruce replied. 

“Wow, that actually sounds accurate.” Clark laughed.

The movie goes onto Barry and Victor digging up Clarks body. 

“Oh sure, send the YOUNGEST of the group to dig up a body.” Jon frowned, crossing his arms.

“Touched a nerve, eh Errand Boy?” Kon smirked. 

“Shut it Hippo.” Jon hissed and immediately ducking his head, dodging the empty bowl of popcorn that was chucked at him.

 

The League brings Clarks body back into the Kryptonian chamber as Barry electrocutes him back to life. 

“Look Bruce made his own DIY Lazarus pit!” Jason calls out.

“Yeah I got the recipe from pinterest.” Bruce smirks.

Movie Clark is resuscitated and looking at a memorial in tatters. The camera roams over his shirtless body.

“Damn Daddy.” Kon grinned.

“Kon Am taking too Far.” Bizarro grimaced as the rest of the families laughed. 

Cyborg can’t control his machines mechanisms and shoots at Clark, who dodges it like it’s no big deal.

“Oooooo shit!” Kara giggles 

“He’s dead.” Kon nods. 

“KAL-EL NO!” Movie Diana yells

“Kal-El YES!” Clark says gleefully

“DAD STOP.” Jon protests.

“Kal-EL, last son of Krypton. Remember who you are.” Movie Diana pleaded.

Everyone busts out laughing.

“All we need is a Jor-EL in the clouds going, ‘you have forgotten me son.’” Kara snickers

“Where’s Batman?” Damian asks. 

“Clark!” Movie Bruce calls out.

“I know he really didn't just  _ use  _ my name in the middle of a Metropolis street with a  _ bunch  _ of people standing around.” Clark hissed under his breath.

“So much for that name rule.” Jon grinned back.

“I know you.” Movie Clark growled as he made his way over to Bruce. 

“So he doesn’t know who  _ he _ is, but he knows who Bruce is. Suspicious.” Kon smirked.

“I dunno about suspicious, but definitely not heterosexual.” Tim added.

“He just won a headbutting match with Wonder Woman and he bitch slapped Batman into a car, when will your fave  _ ever. _ ” Dick cried with glee.

“Did I forget your birthday or something?” Bruce asked. 

“You won’t let me live. You won’t let me die.” Movie Clark said to Bruce as he lifted him up in the air by his throat.

“Me at school.” Steph sighed as Tim and Cass patted her back in sympathy. 

“Tell me...” Movie Clark started

“Oh Rao no. Dad please no.” Jon pleaded

“HELL YES. SAY IT!” Kon grinned

“ _Do you bleed?_ ” Movie Clark asked

Jon groaned as everyone else cheered at the return of Batman’s weird ass question.

“If anyone turns it into a meme again, you’re banned from the Manor.” Bruce interjected quickly. 

Lois comes out of a car calling out Clark’s name, tears streaming down her face.

“Wow, Lois. You too?” Clark asked in mock exasperation.

“It be ya own people.” Kon nodded solemnly as Jon laughed. 

“I was short sighted at you being alive! And your abs.” Lois defended herself. 

“DAMN HE REALLY JUST TOSSED BATMAN ASIDE LIKE A DIRTY TSHIRT!” Damian laughed.

Batman is shown laying on the floor, getting up with a groan. 

“Oh yeah, something is  _ definitely _ bleeding.” Movie Bruce groaned

“That feel when you wake up on your period.” Steph snorted as Kara howled with laughter.

 

The movie showed Clark back at the Kent Farm.

“Peep the hand on the abs.” Kon snickered

“Do you blame her?” Lois chuckled

“I don’t.” Selina purred

“SELINA!” Bruce hollered, scandalized. 

“You smell good.” Movie Lois said

“Did I not smell good before?” Movie Clark asked back

“Not all the time.” Lois snorts

"Rude.” Clark said, sticking his tongue out at his wife.

 

The movie moved onto a very tense interaction with the League in the Batcave. Losing the last mother box to Stepphenwolf when they were busy fighting Clark.

“Just keep The Little Mermaid away from me while I work.” Victor tells Diana. 

A loud, “AYYYYYYY” comes from Dick and Jason as they high five. 

Movie Bruce is shown fumbling over his words while he tries to talk to Arthur. 

“D-Do you.... Talk to fish?”

“Oh my god Bruce, you can’t just ask people if they talk to fish.” Steph said in a valley girl accent.

“That’s so not fetch!” Cass adds as the girls break down into snorts and giggles.

 

The movie moves onto Clark and Lois talking in an open field on the Kent Farm. Jon lets himself smile at the depiction of his parents and lays his head down on Damian’s shoulder.

“Missing home, Corn Cob?” Damian whispers. 

Jon doesn’t say anything besides nudging Damians cheek with his nose, and he feels Damian’s arms wrap around his waist, allowing him to snuggle closer. 

Damian carded his fingers through Jons messy, curly locks as he watched eyes so similar to Jon’s fill the screen with worry and concern. 

“You’re not getting sentimental on me, are you Batboy?” Jon teased back.

“You haven’t died.” Damian grins.

“Yet.”

And just like that the grin fell off of Damians face. He felt as if his heart began to pump ice into his veins. 

It was just one word.

A three letter, one syllable word.

And it scared Damian so much, it shook him to his core. 

Damian wanted to say a lot of things. About how he would never let Jon die, especially in the line of duty. How he wouldn't put him in that situation in the first place. How he wormed his way into Damians heart and the older boy has no intention of letting him go.

Instead, he settled for squeezing one of Jon's hands extremely tight and kissing the crown of Jon's head, nuzzling his forehead against it, hoping his feelings will be seen through his actions.

 

The movie moved on to the Justice League headed out to fight Stepphenwolf. 

“Im young! Theres shit I wanna do!” Aquaman cried

“I want to meet this Auqaman, I really do.” Jason swooned

“Jason, you have a boyfriend.” Bruce sighed

“ALL I SAID IS THAT I WANNA MEET HIM BRUCE!” Jason cried.

 

The movie showed the Batmobile attracting the Parademons so that the others can face Stepphenwolf without distraction.

“Who let you pick out those glasses father, Grayson?” Damian scoffed

“Who died and made you fashion police?” Dick pouted.

“Certainly not you, Mr. Faked My Death for a Year.” Tim retorted.

Dicks jaw hung open as Damian and Jason screamed “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”

“Kara, may we get some freeze breath for that burn?” Cass asked in mockingly sweet voice. 

“Ah. We may not have thought this through.” Movie Alfred says.

“Story of our life.” Alfred laughed. 

Aquaman is taking down parademons in the sky. 

“HELP IM GAY!” Jason sobbed

The Batmobile gets trashed and Bruce jumps out.

“Seriously?! Again?!” Steph cried

“I love how you’re more concerned about the car than about Bruce.” Selina smirked

“That’s what you’re here for.” Steph retorted as she watched as Batman stole a gun from one of the parademons.

“Oh so Batman can use guns but the rest of us can’t.” Jason taunted.

“They’re aliens.” Bruce replied simply.

“Oh yeah? Then why’d you make me put away my guns when Jon and Kon came over for the first time as Official Boyfriends?”

“YOU DID WHAT?!” Tim and Damian screamed at the same time.

“You know we’re bulletproof, right?” Kon smirked.

 

“You’re all too  _ weak  _ to see the truth!” Stepphenwolf goaded. 

“Well, I believe in truth.” Clark said, easily taking him down.

“LOOK AT BRUCES FACE!” Dick laughed.

“Find you someone that looks at you the way Bruce looks at Clark.” Kon snickered. 

“I knew you didn’t bring me back cause you like me.” Movie Clark smiled

“I-I dont.... Not....” Movie Bruce stammered violently.

“That’s just....” Steph started

“So gay?” Kara finished for her.

Cass nodded in agreement.

Clark caught up with Barry.

“Slowpoke.”

Kara, Kon, and Jon rolled their eyes as Bizarro laughed. 

“At least Bizarro thinks im funny.” Clark smirked to his kids (and cousin). 

“Statistically,  _ someone _ has to.” Jon sighed.

“Okay,  _ Damian _ .” Clark frowned back. 

Barry is shown saving a truck with a family in it as Clark carries a whole building full of people to safety.

“Show off.” Bruce laughs

Clark comes back and helps Cyborg spread the boxes apart. There was a loud explosion, Clark and Victor are thrown to the floor.

“Clark!” Movie Bruce’s head snaps up in worry.

“Oh, so Victor isn’t up there, huh?” Diana smirked.

“Diana not you too.” Bruce sighed. 

“I think this is just solidifying the fact that Movie Bruce isn’t straight.” Jason said

“You’re acting like Normal Bruce _is_ straight.” Selina interjected

Everyone in the room sat straight, their eyes as big as saucers, and looked at the pair.

“Thanks Selina. Thank you so much for that.” Bruce grumbled.

“Anytime Bat.” Selian laughed and kissed his cheek. 

“Doesn’t answer our question though.” Damian mumbled as Jon pulled him back down to continue watching the movie. 

“I take it back I wanna die.” Movie Clark groaned.

“GOD CLARK WHAT A MOOD.” Tim yelled.

“Children, I work with children.” Movie Diana sighed

“You must think that a lot.” Lois smirked as she nudged the other woman. 

“Only when Clark and Bruce are fighting or being mopey and I have to clean up their mess.” Diana replied with a small smile on her face.

“So, all the time?” Selina laughed. 

Movie Diana steps on her sword and she catches it, while she charges to take down Stepphenwolf.

All of the kids let out a loud: “DAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMNNNNNNNNNNNN.”

 

The movie goes back the Kent Farm, movers putting things back into the house. 

“How did you get the house back from the bank?” Clark asked

“I bought the bank.” Bruce smirked.

“Rao these billionaires! Bruce bought the bank, Lena bought Cat Co.”

“Being in love with a super makes you do crazy shit.” Tim smiled, leaning into Kon who was currently letting out a loud “AWWWW!”

“You  _ do _ know he hasn’t bought you anything extravagant yet.” Jon smirked up at his brother

“Uh huh and what’d  _ you _ get?” Kon frowned, arms wrapping defensively around his boyfriend. 

“Our own secret headquarters.” Damian said snootily, wrapping an arm around Jon. 

Tim squints his eyes and pulls out his phone.

“NO, NO ONE IS BUYING-!” Bruce shouts

“Too late.” Tim smirked putting away his phone.  

“Bet I can still top it!” Damian grinned pulling out his own phone.

A loud “ _ STOP! _ ” came from everyone in the room. 

“Oo! Post credits!” Kara interjected.

 

Clark and Barry were standing on a gravel pathway, about to race. 

“If I win, you’re off the team.” Movie Clark said with a straight face. Barrys face fell and his eyes filled with terror. 

“That am not cool.” Bizarro frowned.

Movie Clark began to laugh.

“Im just joking, but if I win, Bruce said something about you taking us all to brunch?”

“That’s cold, though.” Jon laughed, playing off of Bizarro. 

“You know, i’ve never seen the pacific!” Barry exclaimed. 

Movie Clark points the other way as the normal Clark laughs loudly.

“Dad! It was  _ one _ time!” Jon exclaimed as his ears turned red. Clark begins to laugh harder.

 

Bruce was about to get up and start cleaning up when Jason pulled him back down by his sweatpants. 

“Where do you think you’re going, old man? There’s another post credit in a minute.”

“Two post credits? Don’t you think that’s kinda redundant?” Bruce sighed, sitting back down.

 

The second post credit started up. 

“That’s deathstroke isnt it.” Dick sighed.

“Why would deathstroke be in a jail? Its Luthor.” Kara argued back

“Why would Luthor be wearing hair ribbons? Its Slade.” Damian interjected

“Mercy is there? DIdn’t he kill her in the last movie?” Tim asked

“Maybe he threw her in a Lazarus pit?” Jason interjected

“What is it with you and the Lazarus Pit?” Damian rolled his eyes

“Does Luthor know Ras?” Clark whispered to Bruce.

“Yup.” Bruce said boredly, popping the p.

“Well that’s not good.”

“Don’t you think it’s time to form a league of our own?” Movie Luthor told Slade. 

“Why is he so whiny? Like YOU DIDNT LET ME JOIN YOUR CLUB SO IM MAKING AN ANTI CLUB FOR YOU!” Steph mock whined.

“Why is he talking to Slade of all people? He’s a mercenary, not an ally.” Cass added.

“To Luthor, im sure it’s the same difference.” Kon sighed.

“Well, now im paranoid. What’s he up to in Belle Reve, check for me will you Damian?” 

“When are you  _ not _ paranoid, Father?” Damian grumbled as he left the cozy warmth of his boyfriends arms. Jon dutifully followed Damian anyways.

“Well that was fun! Lets do this again!” Steph beamed, jumping off from the couch.

“Yeah, I hear they’re making a batgirl movie.” Jason grinned.

“Really?!” Cass and Steph beamed.

“It’s probably gonna be about Barbie though, sorry girls.”

Steph and Cass wilted, but perked right back up when Selina smacked the back of Jason’s head. 

“Thanks for the invite again Bruce. It really is nice. For all of us.” Clark smiled.

“Anytime.” Bruce smiled back. 

Diana wrapped her arms around Bruce and Clarks shoulders, “I say next time we watch this with the others at the space station!”

“Hell no.”

“Im gonna pass on that.” 

Diana laughed loudly.

**Author's Note:**

> Whoo! This was a monster to write. Hope the wait was worth it! Please comment and kudo!


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